Headline writers are like diners at The Old Country Buffet - they go right for the good stuff, and you'd best not stand in their way. There is no pun, no quibble, no stretch or rhyme or reason, no shaken-and-stirred metaphor they won't resort to in their quest to stop readers dead in their tracks. I know: I'm Bill, and I am a headline writer.

I wasn't always this way, although the underlying fascination with groaners and shaggy dog stories was there from the start. When I worked as a reporter and later editor at the late Nashville Banner, the copy editors appended most of the headlines to our articles. They sat roughly in an inward facing square near the city desk, and we could hear them murmuring and often cackling amongst themselves as they clarified our prose and debated zinger headlines.

There were many - and many that did not make it into the paper. Such a one was proposed for a wire story about a woman who had murdered her husband and stuffed his carcass under the house. "I'm walking the floor over you!" sang out a merry voice from the copy desk, convulsing the entire newsroom. The one headline I remember as the all-time greatest was about a grisly local murder whose perpetrator tried to cover up with arson: "Headless body found in gutted church." If "Wayne's World" had been out then, we would all have salaamed in appreciation.

But since assuming editorship over various titles at Hammock Publishing, I had to get into the headline business. Turns out I have something of a knack for it, and my colleagues sometimes ask me to swot out a headline for them.

[After the jump, read more about the joys of headlining.]

Have you ever gotten an e-mail where someone asked you to confirm your shipping address to insure that your package arrives on time? What about a message telling you that your vote could drastically effect the outcome of a race?

These types of mistakes are all too common. In fact, as I type this in Word, its spell-checking system recognizes that one of the examples above is wrong, but not the other.

Here is a list of some of the worst offenders I've seen lately:

Our friend Joe Pulizzi of Junta42 has released a new white paper called "New Rules of Custom Publishing - New Complimentary White Paper: Nine Strategies to Create a World-Class Content Marketing Company." You can download the white paper in a digital format here.

After the jump, read Joe's list of Nine strategies to create a world-class content marketing company. As anyone who follows Hammock Inc., it's no surprise we agree with each one of them:

I'm tempted just to say, "Amen!" to this recent Slate post about intrusive linking policies. Jack Schafer's list includes my top three links-to-hate:

• Double-click the word, get a definition [NYTimes.com is a big culprit. I have, at least 3 times, clicked on the word "inside" while reading an article on the Times site. Trust me, after 13 years of primary and secondary, a college degree and nine hours of graduate work, I've finally figured out what inside means. Now, as for that tricky "outside...."]


• Pop-over boxes Often found on news sites to display ads, this blog tool was amusing when it first came out. Now that I've seen Snap Shots used more than a couple times -- indeed, far too frequently -- I am still waiting for an application of it that doesn't make me grit my teeth.


• Links that don't tell you where you're going The web allows for endless copy. I don't need much, but please do more than tell me you want to link here. [It's not a real link. I wouldn't do that to you.]

Volumes could be - and have been - written about the problems of moving images around the Internet, especially multiple large images and especially if you are not a professional photographer who has set up a Web site with a secure gallery.

Because many of our clients are associations or businesses whose members and employees send us photos of all sorts of events, we face the problem every day. Photos snapped with camera phones, or digital cameras set to record small, e-mail friendly images don't translate well to print.

[After the jump, read more about using Flickr as a production process tool.]

When you want to share your organization's story, a blog should be high on your list. Blogging is an easy way to share the inside scoop and help your customers feel like they have a relationship with your company that goes beyond the transaction. Before you rush out to get a Wordpress account, make sure you are really ready with these tips.

[After the jump, read the 9 Rules of Corporate Blogging]

We decided about 18 months ago to create a new kind of website here at Hammock.com. As individuals, we were using lots of new online media approaches and technology -- and were incorporating them into work we were doing for clients. Our site, while attractive, was not a reflection of where we are -- as a company or as individuals. So we headed into a new direction.

[After the jump, read more about how Hammock.com is evolving.]

A common failure among organizations is to forget all of the touch points one's members or clients have with their brand, and the opportunity the organization has to capitalize on those engagement opportunities. What does that mean for today's marketing and communications professionals? As we continue to be bombarded with millions of competing marketing messages, it's important that your organization successfully breaks through the clutter. Here's how you can make your organization's marketing stand out:

Take inventory: Evaluate those communication vehicles already in place. Include magazines, newsletters, e-mail newsletters, annual reports, e-mails, Web site, direct mail, event promotions, advertising, telemarketing efforts and sales materials in your assessment—and be willing to discontinue those that aren’t working.

Revisit your logo: Is your logo representative of your organization's mission and culture? If not, it might be time to consider investing in a new logo to reflect your brand more effectively.

Be consistent with print and online products: Make sure that all of your print and digital media products share a common design template. This includes the use of fonts, sizes, headers and overall aesthetic.

Create a style guide: If your organization does not already have one in place, author a rulebook of standards for editorial and design work.

Police your communications: Assign a member of your team to be responsible for monitoring all outgoing company communications to ensure that your organization's guidelines are applied before the messaging goes out the door.

For example, the story, "The 21 Steps" by Charles Cumming uses a Google Maps mashup to present a round-the-world story. And the story, "Slice" by Toby Litt uses two different blogging platforms (LiveJournal and Wordpress) and Twitter.

Yes, we're impressed. Perhaps not with the stories themselves, but with the experimentation taking place. And by a book publisher, no less.

(via: Springwise.com.)

Rex Hammock and I agree that sports writing is often the best journalism around. There's more fun, creativity and feeling packed into good sports writing than in most other journalistic efforts, maybe because it's just about a game.

I especially like the headline writers at Sports Illustrated, who rarely miss the target when they aim to pun, wax ironic or just gig someone. They are at their best when verging on the literary, or pinging some element of pop culture.

For instance - check out the current issue's cover blurb. And of course, follow through is essential to good athletic form, as seen in the cover story inside hedder:

And with the well-deserved brouhaha over China's human rights record (and environmental and other issues) putting dents into the Olympic rings, it would not be a bad idea to turn loose sports writers on those news stories. I don't know if it happened here, but this headline "Slouching Towards Tibet" in a Philippines newspaper about China's oppression of its tiny neighbor perfectly references William Butler Yeats apocalyptic poem, "The Second Coming"

FOLLOW-UP
Tennesseans are grieving today that the Memphis Tigers couldn't quite get the job done, so the Kansas Jayhawks are clicking their sneakers together and going home with the trophy. Too bad, because, inspired by the Yeatsian headline, I had a headline all ready in case Memphis won: Tigers Burn Bright!

The Custom Publishing Council (note: Hammock is a founding member) has just conducted a survey called, “Characteristics Study: A Look at the Volume and Type of Custom Publications in America” that indicates custom publishing is thriving. According to the survey, in 2007 a record number of marketers used custom publishing solutions to promote their products and brands – with impressive results. Other industry reports show that spending on alternative media jumped 22%, with more advertisers seeking out new channels. Custom publishing can be expected to grow even more in 2008 with the increase in Internet distribution of content and creative new media solutions.

[After the jump, view statistics and other highlights from the Custom Publications in America survey.]