Content That Works

Among the many weird Facebook groups springing up every day—“I bet this pickle can get more fans than Nickelback” is a recent gem—one grabbed this editor’s attention: “'Let’s eat Grandma!' or, 'Let’s eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives.”

As long as punctuation continues to make a difference in Grandmas’ lives everywhere, good proofreaders will be necessary. But how do Hammock editors and designers keep our proofing wits about us, especially if it’s something we’ve read, edited and commented on a hundred times? From the well-proven strategies to the unusual ones, here’s how we keep those proofing pencils sharp.

The New York Times "On Language" column for Jan. 27, 2010, introduced us to a new term for headlines that trip over themselves: "Crash Blossoms."

The column brought back memories of learning to count characters in journalism class, and even more so of designers asking for ever-shorter headlines that wouldn't interfere with their aesthetics, would make a play on words and, oh yes, relate to the story.

As far as I know, I've never published an unintentional howler like "“British Left Waffles on Falklands," but that's not to say I haven't written some on my way to a more sedate statement. My philosophy is, if one entendre is good, then two is doubly so.

Those logophiles at Lake Superior State University have unleashed their 2009 list of words deserving of banishment, and as one might expect, the surfeit of "green" terms has them seeing red. So does "it's that time of year again," which is how I might have started this post.

"Green," "carbon footprint" and "carbon offsetting" were among the most off-putting terms nominated by thousands of language guardians. "WallStreet/Main Street," "Bailout" and "maverick" also boarded the list from the political-social commentary side of the street.

Ironically, the school could use a bailout, as falling enrollment has led to layoffs.

The list, with samples of comments from those who nominated them, can be found here. Located in Sault Ste. Marie, Mich., LSSU is already accepting nominations for its 2010 list.

Meanwhile, CNN.com contributor Frances Cole Jones published her list of 10 phrases not to use around the office (or at home, in my opinion). The list parallels a longer one appearing in Britain's Daily Mail.

And the Irish Parliament is reviewing its banned word policy after discovering that the so-called "F-bomb" or "F-word" isn't (I'm nominating "Blank-bomb/-word to LSSU).

So at this time of year, here's wishing fewer cliches and old chestnuts for the New Year.

At Hammock, our slogan is "Your story starts here," and it's a phrase that we live out every day. Whether we're catching up before a Monday morning staff meeting, checking in with a client or writing a feature for one of our publications, we love to tell (and hear) a good story.

One of our favorite forms of storytelling -- at least in writing -- is the narrative, a chronological story that shows cause and affect, and develops through actions and characters. Like any story, all narratives have a beginning, middle and end. Though their structure may seem complex, they aren't that different from any riveting tale you might hear at the office or around town.

Here are a few storytelling secrets to help you master the art of narrative writing:

You'll often find us walking up and down the halls with a red pen tucked behind an ear, resting in a shirt pocket or in-hand, always ready to lend a scribble or two to the editing process for our magazines and newsletters.

Though all of our publications have their own style guides, which help us answer specific questions as they come up, bad grammar is just bad grammar. Here are a few examples that really put us over the edge:

"The passenger should keep his or her seatbelt fastened at all times to protect himself or herself in the event of an accident."

6 Steps to a Productive Session

Also known as "stream of consciousness writing," free writing is not that different from those grade-school exercises where the teacher would ask you to take out a piece of paper and write whatever you wanted on a topic until she called time. I used to hate it when my teacher would snatch up my paper before I was done, but what I didn't realize then was that free writing isn't about producing perfect prose. It's about collecting and connecting your thoughts, and silencing that critical voice inside that keeps you from fully expressing yourself.

Adobe InDesign, the program we use to lay out the pages of all of the publications we publish here at Hammock, gave up immediately when I just typed the mega-word into a four-column page. Instead of helping me figure out the best place to break the word, it just made all the words in that text box disappear (Thanks, InDesign). So I’m on my own. Here’s how I would do it:

For some reason, I've been thinking about simpler times lately. Times when I was younger and I didn't have a 401(k) to fret about. Times when all I had to worry about was remembering my locker combination, whether Keith Barnes liked me or not, and preparing for the English quiz Mrs. Hohertz was sure to give every Friday afternoon.

Four Tips for Making Content Work Online

Some may think that writing is writing. But truth be told, writing for the web is different from writing for a children's book or for a magazine. Research shows that web readers want fast and easy information, in a format that is easy to digest. Here are a few things we keep in mind when we write specifically for online audiences for our clients or ourselves:

If you're not doing the crossword puzzle with your morning coffee today, we have a little quiz for you.

Each month, we write a post about a simple grammar rule or two because we could all use a little refresher from time to time. Now, it's time to test yourself on what you know (or think you know) about some of those rules. It's easy. Simply pick the correct sentence from each of the five sets below. Answers and explanations are below, so no peeking!

We've talked about commonly mixed words before. Effect and affect. Ensure and insure. They can be tricky, but they're not so bad once you get them down.

Two more sets that we've been talking about around here lately are lie/lay and who/whom.

I’m using a new writer for one of the articles in the next issue of MyBusiness, and the article is due today. I’m always anxious the day the article is due—probably because part of me is worried that the article isn’t going to be very good. That doesn’t happen a lot, but trust me, it happens, and when it does you’ll tell yourself that you’ll never use a new writer again.

But it can’t work that way. If it did, you’d only be selling yourself—and your readers—short.

Ahh, the hyphen. The self-proclaimed grammar geeks here at Hammock have had many a debate about when to use it and when to avoid it. As with every rule regarding the English language, there are exceptions. But here are a few instances when using a hyphen is necessary and even makes sense:

It's almost cute to hear a little girl dressed up like a princess say things like "I is a big girl."

But when an international car company runs a national commercial with a terrible example of subject-verb agreement -- "Its popularity in the hearts and minds of millions have solidified its reputation for quality and high MPG." -- it's not so cute.

I won't mention them by name, but "oh what a feeling" of pain I endured when my ears first heard that. I had to rewind a couple of times to make sure I heard correctly.

It’s the beginning of September and we already have one of the features (edit, photography and layout) ready for the December/January issue of MyBusiness. How’s that for working ahead?

Are we studious? Umm, yes, but that’s not exactly why the story’s ready to go. You see, that feature was slated for October/November up until pretty much the last minute, but we ended up not having room for it, so we’re putting it in the next issue. You didn’t think we were just going to throw it away, did you?

Adjectives can take three forms. I'm not talking about liquid, solid or gas; I mean positive, comparative and superlative.

Simply put, the positive form of an adjective describes a single noun or pronoun.

• Rex is smart. John's car is fast.

The comparative form of an adjective compares two nouns or pronouns.

• Laura is smarter than a fifth grader. I am older than dirt.

The superlative form then compares three or more nouns or pronouns.

• Thunder is the biggest of our three dogs. Nashville is the greatest city in the world!

Not sure when to use more/most, double the last consonant or change y to i? Here are a few general rules. But remember, there are always exceptions.

I must've stared at that Word document for almost two hours straight Wednesday. I was writing an article for a client, using beautiful and powerful words and making sure the flow was nice and smooth. I had read it over and over again to make sure I hadn't missed anything. They were going to love it.

At one point I finally let myself go to the kitchen and get a nice glass of ice tea, and when I returned to my desk, there it was: a spelling error right in the title. Spellcheck didn't catch it. (It was a word, after all, just not the word I wanted to use.) How did I miss it before? I would definitely be sending this piece to a fellow editor for proofing of course, but I wanted it to be in the best shape possible before then.

So I started thinking: How can we self-edit to produce our best work?

My sweet mother rarely sends me an e-mail without a semicolon in it. She loves that little piece of punctuation. I'll give her credit though; 99 percent of the time she uses it correctly.

For writers and editors, the semicolon is a must for adding variety to our words. But not everyone is a fan of the "supercomma" as it's called by some. Is it stronger than a comma? Weaker than a period? Kinda.

Here are four common (and correct) ways to use a semicolon:

Editors kick the word "style" around a lot. Like spoken Chinese, what we mean often depends on the context and inflection. We work diligently to create and maintain style in its various meanings, but like all rules, style sometimes improves when you break it.

Sometimes style refers to a publication's "style guide." Ours is based on the Associated Press stylebook, but customized for different clients. For instance, our clients tend to treat elements like titles, dates and state names in different ways:

• In Semper Fi, which we publish for the Marine Corps League, we use the two-letter USPS abbreviations for states, dates are written 10 November 1775, and ranks are used with names at all times.
• NFIB's MyBusiness magazine follows AP for abbreviating names and dates, and titles are used only on a first reference.
• American Spirit uses its own approach to these and other elements.
• Our own suggested online style guide calls for using bullet points. Sentence fragments. In bold, and no puns (obviously this guy deserves a few bullets).

The point is that every publication has its own set of style rules for consistency in spelling, grammar, even the tense used in attributed quotations.

Then there are times when "style" refers to the overall voice -- some call it sound or tone or feeling -- of a publication. The style guide can have an effect on this:

For instance, the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal use titles before names. So one reads about Mayor Michael Bloomberg on first reference, then Mr. Bloomberg thereafter. The tone is more formal, not so much deferential as polite. Quite different from, say, Rolling Stone.

In the corporate world, design and logo guidelines are standard. Companies and associations set up rules about how the logo may be used, for instance, or what colors are acceptable in company memos. Many organizations will just provide standard templates for spreadsheets, written documents and emails.

But what about your words? Does your organization need a standard style guide for the words in your written documents? If your publications don't use a style guide, follow along with me for a few moments. Even presentations, advertisements and other printed materials benefit from a standard written style.

A complex sentence is made up of two clauses: one independent clause (a simple sentence) which can stand on its own, and one dependent clause that would simply be a fragment if left alone. The dependent clause also contains the subordinating conjunction (the word which ties the two clauses together). Subordinating conjunctions are words such as "because," "although," "if," "when," "unless," etc. Are you still awake?

A common error occurs with this type of sentence though because there seems to be confusion on where exactly to pencil in the pesky little comma. The rule is simple:

It's a common mistake, and one that slipped by me recently, to describe the firing of three volleys of 7 rifles as at military funerals as a 21-gun salute. It's not.

A 21-gun salute is fired by pieces of artillery, not by rifles. According to the Navy's History Division, "Today, the national salute of 21 guns is fired in honor of a national flag, the soverign or chief of state of a foreign nation, a member of a reigning royal family, and the President, ex-President, and President-elect of the United States. It is also fired at noon of the day of the funeral of a President, ex-President, or President-elect, on Washington's Birthday, Presidents Day, and the Fourth of July. On Memorial Day, a salute of 21 minute guns is fired at noon while the flag is flown at half mast."

The rifle salute can be described as a "three-volley salute".

Just last week, my mind was having a little battle between the words "maximum" and "maximal," and it was driving me crazy. I had typed each word out a few dozen times as I wrote and rewrote a story. I had stared at them both for so long that they no longer even looked like words to me. So, to end the battle, I turned to the best resource I know for answering tough grammar questions: my colleagues here at Hammock.

To me, there is no better resource than the smart folks around me for hammering out the proper use of a hyphen. We talk about it over lunch, from opposite ends of the hallway. And, as you've heard us mention before, we use Instant Messenger to talk about pronouns and dependent clauses as much as we use it to discuss last night's episode of LOST.

But when some of us are up to our necks in a project or out of the office for lunch (or sleep), where do we go when our deepest thoughts about the subjunctive mood just won't rest?

Online, you'll find us logged on to:

• AP Stylebook online
• Grammar Girl
• Your Writing Guru
• Dr. Grammar

Off the shelf, you might find us grabbing:

• Strunk and White's Elements of Style (I'm surprised my copy is still in one piece.)
• Basic English Revisited: A Student's Handbook
• The Associated Press Stylebook
• The dictionary

There are dozens of other great resources out there. What's your favorite?

Bill's post earlier this week celebrated all that we love about magazines and their punny, punny headlines. But you'll notice here ("How to Write Headlines for the Web") we're playing it straight. And there's good reason for that.

When you're titling articles, posts and features online, your headline has to do a lot more than look pretty and act clever. Since headlines may show up as links, and often help with search engine results, they have to cut to the chase: Just tell us what the page is about.

Headline writers are like diners at The Old Country Buffet - they go right for the good stuff, and you'd best not stand in their way. There is no pun, no quibble, no stretch or rhyme or reason, no shaken-and-stirred metaphor they won't resort to in their quest to stop readers dead in their tracks. I know: I'm Bill, and I am a headline writer.

I wasn't always this way, although the underlying fascination with groaners and shaggy dog stories was there from the start. When I worked as a reporter and later editor at the late Nashville Banner, the copy editors appended most of the headlines to our articles. They sat roughly in an inward facing square near the city desk, and we could hear them murmuring and often cackling amongst themselves as they clarified our prose and debated zinger headlines.

There were many - and many that did not make it into the paper. Such a one was proposed for a wire story about a woman who had murdered her husband and stuffed his carcass under the house. "I'm walking the floor over you!" sang out a merry voice from the copy desk, convulsing the entire newsroom. The one headline I remember as the all-time greatest was about a grisly local murder whose perpetrator tried to cover up with arson: "Headless body found in gutted church." If "Wayne's World" had been out then, we would all have salaamed in appreciation.

But since assuming editorship over various titles at Hammock Publishing, I had to get into the headline business. Turns out I have something of a knack for it, and my colleagues sometimes ask me to swot out a headline for them.

[After the jump, read more about the joys of headlining.]

Have you ever gotten an e-mail where someone asked you to confirm your shipping address to insure that your package arrives on time? What about a message telling you that your vote could drastically effect the outcome of a race?

These types of mistakes are all too common. In fact, as I type this in Word, its spell-checking system recognizes that one of the examples above is wrong, but not the other.

Here is a list of some of the worst offenders I've seen lately:

“Only” can be an adjective or an adverb. As such, it should be placed immediately in front of the word it restricts. Otherwise, the sentence changes meaning.

Let's take, for example, the title line from Gene Pitney's 1962 hit, "Only Love Can Break a Heart."

As it is written, the sentence says that nothing else except love can cause heartbreak. Fair enough, although maybe not exactly true.

"Have your photo's enlarged for just $1.99!"

Those were the flashing red words on a huge drug-store marquee when I drove by last week. And as I type this in Word, it doesn't understand the problem.

The problem is: That sentence -- the word "photos" -- does not need an apostrophe.

Apostrophes serve several purposes, the two most common are to show possession and contraction. (As a refresher, a contraction is a shortened form of a word or group of words where the missing letters are replaced by an apostrophe. Example: we+will=we'll, should+not=shouldn't.)

The word "photos" as it should be above is simply plural, not possessive. And it's certainly not a contraction.

Example: We'll take John's car to the meeting.
Example: Don't let Julia's daughter leave before giving her a hug.

Other not-so-common uses of the apostrophe
An apostrophe is used when one or more letters or numbers have been left out of a word.

Example: I am part of the graduating class of '90.
Example: Top o' the mornin' to you!

Another rule, one that looks funny and is hard to remember because it does: When a word calls for two apostrophes, simply eliminate the second one.

Example: Patrick is learning the do's and don'ts of driving in Nashville traffic.

Which brings up the final common use of apostrophes: Use an apostrophe when creating the plural form of a letter, number, sign or word discussed as a word, not as its form of speech.

Example: He knows the do's, now he just needs to work on the don'ts.
Example: Please remove all B's and 9's from this page.

If you're just bustin' at the seams to learn more, Grammar Girl takes the apostrophe discussion a step further in a recent post. Enjoy! We sure do.

It hurts coming from your own mother sometimes...

We're always reading and listening to the ways people use words. Listen carefully and you'll notice it too. For some reason lately, and more often it seems, people are using reflexive pronouns incorrectly.

"If you need more information, please call myself or Megan."

Well, you can't call myself, only I can call myself. It's just that simple.

Even presidential candidates are using the words incorrectly as the Wall Street Journal pointed out just last week in an article titled Me, Myself and I.

So, here's a quick reminder list of reflexive pronouns: myself, yourself (singular), yourselves (plural), himself, herself, itself, ourselves, themselves.

A reflexive pronoun is used for three primary reasons:

• When the object of the sentence is the same as the subject (1)
• As the object of a preposition, referring back to the subject (2)
• To emphasize the subject (3)

(1) Example: Laura cut herself while slicing onions for dinner. (Laura is the subject and the what/who that was cut.)

(2) Example: I took this picture by myself.

(3) Example: The boss himself set our deadline. (A reflexive pronoun used this way is also called an "intensive pronoun.")

Simply put in my Basic English Revisited handbook: A personal pronoun is called a "reflexive pronoun" when it reflects back on the subject or refers to it.

I, myself, already knew that.